Children say the funniest things

One of the reasons I so enjoy being part of the workshop team at Eureka! is the sheer entertainment value arising from interacting with a group of young children. You never quite know what to expect and their responses continue to delight and surprise me. Children do, indeed, say the funniest things!

One of my favourite memories is from a ‘treasure’ workshop, which we ran one holiday for families. Once the treasure chest had been found at last and the pirate captain had been revealed as an imposter planning on keeping all the treasure for herself, the question arose as to how this un-pirate should be punished. Forget any preconceptions you may have about the sweet and gentle nature of children; cries of “kill her”, “chop her head off”, “stab her with your cutlass” and several other bloodthirsty suggestions were generally yelled enthusiastically at the first mate – who attempted to guide the children towards the less violent solution of making her walk the plank.

On this particular occasion I asked “what do pirates do to punish naughty people; what do they make them do?” One kind father decided to whisper the answer to his daughter but unfortunately she misheard. No doubt with her eyes fixed on the artificial trees and bushes behind the treasure chest she screamed out triumphantly with great gusto “make her water the plants!”

Now, wouldn’t it be nice if she’d been right? Bluebeard and Blackbeard and the like would have had far fewer deaths on their consciences - and their Busy Lizzies and Begonias would have flourished!

Children can also take questions very literally and supply you with very frank and honest answers. I took part in many ‘space’ workshops as Llij Orak, an alien from the planet Kaygool. In most workshops, at the point where Llij reveals she’s not from this planet and asks the children, “so, what am I?”, the united response of “an alien” is delivered in chorus. In one particularly fondly remembered workshop moment a small boy delivered his reply with great confidence, “a liar!” he suggested helpfully.

Sometimes the children are so keen to be picked to give the answer that they forget to listen. In one workshop I was trying to elicit a response from the children to the question, “what makes the toy truck start moving when I let go of it on the ramp?” Very few hands went up so I decided to give them a clue. “What is it that holds me down on the ground and stops me floating off into space?” There were now a lot more hands in the air so I picked one very eager young man whose hand had been waving enthusiastically from the start. “Wheels!” he cried confidently. I looked down immediately to check but no, I still had feet.

It’s not only workshops that provide examples of childhood comedy. One day I was feeling rather low as I walked into the mini post office and came upon a young boy dressed in his postman’s uniform, dragging a huge postbag full of parcels. “Are you doing a good job today Mr Postman?” I enquired; forcing a cheery smile onto my face. My smile deepened as he replied happily “yes, and then I’m going into there (pointing to the kitchen) to be a cooker”. The world was suddenly a better place as I remembered how lucky I am to work with the funniest people in the world.

Jill Ward is an Enabler in the Front of House team at Eureka!